How to confront your reality…
Confronting reality and taking personal responsibility is something that we often need to do at the beginning of any journey.
Especially one of personal growth and personal development or even professional. We have to know where we are to know where we’re headed.
Confronting reality, and starting where you are, is sometimes the hardest part because you have to face up to exactly where you are and exactly what’s going on.
Sometimes that can be really difficult. For instance, are you taking personal responsibility for your actions? Are you actually reflecting upon what you’re doing and learning from your mistakes? Or are you playing the victim and attributing blame elsewhere, places where it doesn’t lay.
That’s not to say that other people aren’t to blame for some things. And if you don’t take full ownership and full responsibility for your life, then chances are, you’re not going to reach the goals and the dreams that you want to.
Taking Personal Responsibility
Getting a clear idea of each area of your life, and its current state is one of the single most important activities you can undertake. You cannot reach your goal without knowing where you are.
Health
Number one is your health, where are you physically? Are you exercising? Are you eating well, and feeding your body what it needs?
Career
Are you where you want to be in your job?
Are you where you want to be in your business?
Could you be somewhere better?
Could you be much more successful in these areas?
And how do you want to get there?
Love & Relationship
Love is an area that I think most people struggle with at one point or another. If you are single now or even if you’re in a relationship, where you are, could not be where you want to be.
Be truthful with yourself about what you want, what you need from a partner.
Family, are you connected to your family?
Do you have a family? Are you giving them the attention they need? Are you investing enough time in it?
Are you being everything you should be as a brother, sister, mother, husband, whatever?
Are you connecting? Are you being vulnerable? Are you sharing experiences? Are you creating memories, are you really being there for the people in your life.
Spirituality
Spirituality, this means different things to different people, whether it’s religion, whether it’s, a higher power of the universe, whether connecting with nature.
Spirituality doesn’t have to be organised religion, it can be whatever it means to you.
Are you connecting with that on a level that you’re happy with?
Money
Do you have enough disposable income?
Are you ensuring you’re doing what’s necessary to keep enough savings in the bank to support yourself for six months should something happen?
Recreation
This one is one area that a lot of people forget, in reality so often people are not enjoying their lives, they’re not doing the things that bring them joy and happiness.
All of this, obviously, can be difficult to face up to at first.
To get a headstart, download my free ‘Reclaim Your Life’ workbook now.
In there, I ask some really tough question. I really recommend that you go download the workbook, and fill it in, then email me and let me know where you are and where you want to be.
Create Your Dream Life
Number two in this process is where do you want to be, so many of us have so many dreams and aspirations for our life.
They get lost because of the day to day normal goings-on of life, which can be really monotonous and the same old.
Many years ago, I lived the same day, over and over and over again. It took waking up to my reality to realise that was not how I wanted to live my life, I wanted no NEEDED my life to be much more exciting, full of exploration, joy, happiness and connection.
First you have to dream about it. To reach something that you want. First, you have to know what it looks like.
So in this step of the process, it’s about being really honest with yourself about what it is that you want.
And actually it’s okay to go a little bit crazy on this, it’s okay to go nuts and think about things that may seem a bit outlandish and a bit crazy.
Because anyone who ever accomplished anything always started with a dream.
They started with a vision about what it was that they wanted to create, or what change they wanted to see in the world.
Whatever it may be whether it’s big or small, they started with an idea and with a dream, and they pursued it.
Take time to sit down, and design this life in deep detail, picture for instance a single day a year from now, where will you be, what will it feel like, how will it smell, who will be around you, what will the specifics of your like look like in all the areas in step one.
Fill in the Gaps
Step three in this process is really to identify what’s missing, what’s the gap? What are you not doing to enable yourself to get there? What are the habits that you’re not doing?
What are the things that you are doing that are stopping you from getting there?
If we look at health, for instance, are you bingeing once a week on alcohol or are you eating six bars of chocolate a day.
Nothing anywhere near as extreme as that, but your habits and your behaviours reflect the dream that you want to achieve.
It is only through continuous effort, the kind of day by day continuous discipline towards where you want to be that gets you to your dream.
You have to follow up your dream with the actions and behaviours that are necessary to get you there.
It also takes a certain level of reflection, and in the ebook that I mentioned earlier. The ‘Reclaim Your Life’ workbook that you can get instant access to. I have included some reflection questions that you can use daily, weekly, monthly.
This can help you stay on track and also help you keep asking yourself those tough questions over and over again. This makes sure that you are staying in line with where you want to get to.
It’s really important when you are figuring out where the gaps are to be super honest with yourself about whether you are playing the victim. Whether you are playing the blame game, whether you are shirking your responsibilities in your own life.
Taking Personal Responsibility
The biggest change happened when I realised that I was to blame for every decision that I had made in my life up until that very point.
It was only through creating change by making a different decision today, a decision that would have a big impact in six months time.
This week, I was having a conversation with a client who I’ve been working with now for 5 months. We were talking about how so many of the changes are happening for him now.
We’re talking dramatically, because of the decisions he made four or five months ago.
Do bear in mind that the smallest of decisions today can have such a dramatic impact on your life in six months to a year or even less.
If you’re seriously working hard, being who you want to be seriously working hard at putting in the effort to change the behaviours and the actions and the habits, then these things can happen much, much, much quicker.
Final Word
To finish up, your dream, your vision for your life is what I want for you.
The ability to create the life that you want is something that I want to be there for you with and help you with.
I want you to have more choices in your life, whether that’s work or play, I want you to feel chosen and wanted and to be able to put down the masks and stop people-pleasing.
I want you to have deep connections and loyalty in your relationships, I want you to have safety, security and stability in your life, all of these things I want for you.
The reality is it’s going to take effort, it’s going to take work and you’re going to have to push towards this life that you want.
If you don’t, you’re not going to feel unshakable or invincible, you’re not going to feel these things, or have a good reputation as being this awesome human being if you’re not putting in the effort to do that.
One of the things that comes up, again and again, is not a case of trying to be who you want to be. It’s a case of starting now and being who you want to be.
That’s a choice and every decision that you make throughout your day, it’s a choice about whether you move a step closer to who you want to be, or a step further away.
I dare you to make the decision today to move a step closer to being who you want to be.
Let me know in the comments if you’re stuck, and if you need any help with anything. Let me know if you’ve had an experience with any of this.
If you failed at any point because it’s in failure where we learn the most where we are able to grow the most because it’s the one part of life that really exposes us.
If we’re ready and willing to reflect upon this, then we can create real change in our lives.
Unleash the story within!
Remember to download the Reclaim Your Life Workbook with instant access now.
